Sarge: Book 8 in the Vengeance MC series Read online

  I’ve spent years hiding what Emmy did – how she tore my world apart with one lie that changed everything for me, and now she’s added another to it. But this one is exponentially worse because I know for a fact that if Gemma hadn’t made herself known by showing up at the clubhouse that day, Emily would have kept her existence a

  secret from me forever.

  Nevertheless, I can’t just erase all the years I’ve spent loving her, and I wouldn’t want to. Regardless of what she did, what she didn’t say, and how many times I kicked my own ass for taking her back after what I found out, I still love her just as much, if not more today than I did the day I met her. And that’s what burns. My love for Emmy won’t fade, but I fear that I’ll never be able to trust her again. And I have to ask myself, what’s a relationship without trust?

  “Hey, you okay, old man?” Boss asks, gripping my shoulder as his eyes scan my face. “You know this is a hard time of year for, Em,” he states, referring to the anniversary of my son, Diesel’s death. “Just wait, she’ll be back to her old self in no time.”

  Yeah, I’m well aware how hard this time of year is for her since it’s just as fucking awful for me, but Boss doesn’t know that. No one does. Not one of these men I call my brother’s know that their beloved VP who passed well

  before his time, shot by a rival club in retaliation for something that never even fucking happened, was my son. However, that’s about to change whether Emmy likes it or not.

  Gripping the armrests of my chair, my hands clench, turning the knuckles white.

  “I wish I were as confident as you, Son, but I’m afraid it’s going to be a while before the Emmy of old makes a reappearance if she ever does. And at this point, I can’t decide whether that’s a good thing or not,” I say voicing my

  deepest fear.

  Boss stares at me intently for a few moments before shaking his head and excusing himself so that he can to tell Beth to take their kids home. After hugging them all and kissing his wife deeply, Boss returns, sits down next to me, and waits.

  My heart hammers in my chest as I prepare to break one of the few promises I’ve made to Emmy. This isn’t something I’m doing lightly; I’ve given it plenty of thought, and I need to get this shit off my chest once and for all. Boss being my President, brother, and a man I’d be proud to claim as my own make him the perfect sounding board. But more than that, he’s a good guy that’s had his own share of heartache, who’s made it through the other side to find a woman who loves him and a family he fought for.

  “Get yourself a drink, Son; this is going to take a while,” I find myself saying, my body violently rejecting the words that are about to come out of my mouth before I have

  a chance to voice them.

  No matter how angry I am with my wife, and don’t doubt for a second I am angry at her, this is a crossing a line. A line that may well shatter the last semblance of trust in our already flailing relationship. Yet in my heightened state of emotion, with rage flooding my veins and anger kisses my nerve ending, I can’t bring myself to give a shit. Emily made her bed and mine, and now she’s going to have to lie in it.

  Doing as I suggested, Boss reaches down and picks up the half empty bottle of Jack from beside his seat and props it on his knee.

  “I’m covered, now start talking,” he glares at me.

  CHAPTER ONE

  ~ Sarge ~

  “On a bike, no one ever asks “are we there yet?”

  – A bikers Truth

  Deciding the only place to start is back at the very beginning, I say,

  “Not sure if you remember my ex, Gwen, but she was a bitch. A clever one at that. I hate to say it, but all it took was one look at Gwen to know she was after whatever she could get, and that wasn’t only reserved for the ones giving her their dick,” I chuckle darkly.

  Cocking an eyebrow at me, Boss asks,

  “Not sure why we’re unearthing the trash, but I’ll let you tell this your way. At least, for now.”

  “Appreciate it,” I mutter sarcastically.

  Snorting his contempt for my attitude, Boss grunts out,

  “Okay, since I’m playing along, I’ll ask; why hook up with her if she was such a raving bitch? Doesn’t sound like something you’d do, even back then when you were a free

  man.”

  As much as I despise admitting this, I was just as easily seduced by Gwen as the next man. And seeing as Emily was long gone, taking my heart with her, so I did what any single man would do with a broken heart and tried to fuck her out of my system. Gwen wasn’t the first, and she wouldn’t be the last in a long line of women who would warm my bed, but she was certainly the one who lasted the longest.

  I can’t deny that the second I saw her, Gwen was a woman I wanted to conquer, if only for a night or two. She posed what I thought was an interesting challenge, which I learned in time was how she snared her latest victim. In actuality, Gwen was a fucking pariah and would gladly sell her soul for a wad of cash and a hard fuck. For what it’s worth, the latter was the only one of the two I was offering, and she took it willingly.

  In short, Gwen’s long legs, huge tits, curvy hips that a man can imagine gripping tightly as he pounds into her from behind made her the kind of woman you could lose yourself in if it weren’t for the fact she’s a raving cunt. However, bear in mind, I didn’t know that then, I would only come to find that out when, unfortunately for me, shit ended up getting so complicated between us that I couldn’t cut her loose. Especially she turned up on my doorstep four months pregnant with my baby.

  “Yeah, well I was a simpler man then. Stupid too. Truth be told, she was hot and I wanted to fuck her. Didn’t run any deeper than that,” I shrug, going on to say, “It didn’t matter

  to me that she was a bitch to the waitresses serving her drinks, the men buying them for her, or the few people who had big enough balls to hit on her that night; Gwen screamed sex, and back then that was all I was after. It wasn’t until a couple of weeks after she spent the night in my bed that I learned she used her looks and her wicked smile she had to manipulate men into getting everything she wanted. Didn’t matter if it was some loser buying her drinks at the bar, paying for the gas in her car, or a diamond fucking ring, Gwen accepted all of it and demanded more. She was so good at using her pussy to extract favors from men, that some desperate bastard even bought her a car,” I smirk, remembering the look on the guy’s face when Gwen snatched the keys and drove off without so much as a thanks for the fuck.

  Boss snorts, but I ignore him and continue.

  “Back then, I used her, and she used me. It worked for both of us, and as far as I was concerned, when it was time to call it quits, we’d both move on. No strings. No complications. Because that’s what it was with, Gwen; an easy, no promises good time.”

  “What changed then?” Boss asks, taking another swig straight from the bottle.

  “Nothing. Everything. Fuck if I know,” I sigh. “Five weeks after I met her, Gwen took off in the middle of the night, and I didn’t hear from her for months. I was staying at some run-down, shithole motel in Torment I called home, waiting on word about a meet that I’d been trying to set up between me and your dad’s SAA, Demon.

  In those days, Skull was still President of Soldiers of Havoc, and your old man was running things here. Hog was an impatient fucker, as you know, and he was on Skull’s ass every other week to get shit locked down so that we could come to terms on a deal the Soldiers had been brokering with Vengeance for months.”

  Boss shakes his head and groans,

  “I remember hearing about that. He was such a fucking idiot, thinking he could pull one over on, Skull and get away with it.”

  I don’t disagree with him, but I can’t say it was completely without benefit because if it weren’t for that meet, it wouldn’t have helped to solidify the only connection I had to Emmy over the years to follow.

  “Your dad’s plan for Vengeance was never about what was good for the club or his
brothers, you know that. It was always all about him and what he could get out of it; how much money he could make and pussy he could score. The drugs only helped sweeten the deal. He wasn’t a good leader, and he sure as hell wasn’t a good man, so none of his choices should come as any surprise, Son. I might not have been Vengeance from the very first, but your dad’s reputation was well known, and not in a good way.”

  “They don’t. It just pisses me off is all. He all but ran this club into the fucking ground with his greed and coke habit. The brothers and their families suffered because he was too busy worrying about which bitch was going to be riding his dick that night, and how much blow he could snort

  before his cock didn’t work anymore.”

  Again, he’s not wrong.

  “That was then, and this is now. You’ve worked damn hard to drag this club into out of the hole he dug for it, and we’re grateful for it. If you hadn’t, then fuck knows where we’d be,” I reassure him.

  Leaning forward, I prop my elbows on my knees and stare into the fire, still burning strong in the pit in front of me.

  “Back then, I was still with Soldiers of Havoc. As their SAA my job was simple; make contact with Vengeance’s SAA and set up a meet. I did that, but your dad was playing the long game – waiting me out, us out – seeing if as a club we had what it took to deal with an MC of their caliber and status. There were thirty-odd patched brothers in the Soldiers Torment chapter and fifty or so, give or take, in Vengeance’s, so we were outnumbered, and as such, not anywhere near as feared or respected. Also didn’t help that your dad’s reputation was becoming the stuff of legends. The ongoing feud your old man had with Hells Riders was only getting worse as time went on, and your dad more ruthless.”

  Boss’ old man, Hog, made sure everyone this side of California knew what he was capable of. That included his own men. He was a sick, twisted son of a bitch to put it lightly.

  To make matters worse, Hog’s shady dealings with drug traffickers, cartels, arms dealers, and the payoff’s he

  made to the local cops weren’t kept under the radar. He was loud and proud in everything he did, and that didn’t bode well for Vengeance or our longevity. There was talk of patch over's, MC turf war to claim our territory, and the DEA was on our doorstep, what felt like every five minutes. Hog didn’t let that change how he operated, though. If anything, it made him more brazen about how he conducted the MC’s affairs.

  Honestly, Hog wanted the notoriety. To him, it was all about power, and in order to have power, you needed to be recognized. The way Hog went about seeing to that was to make sure everyone knew what he was capable of, how far he was willing to go to get what he wanted, and what would happen to anyone who stood in his path. It was a dark time for Vengeance. A time I’d rather forget. And I wasn’t even present for all of it.

  “Demon was acting as Vengeance’s SAA at the time, and finally agreed to sit down with me the day after he got into town. The meet was set for eleven at Torment’s only diner, so I made sure I got there early to just in case he brought back up with him,” I recall with a small smirk curling my lips. “That morning changed the rest of my life, and no matter what I tell you next, don’t for a minute think I regret a second of it.”

  “Out with it, old man. Don’t keep me in suspense,” Boss grunts, rolling his eyes.

  “Hold your horses, I’m just setting the scene, boy,” I grin. “There I was, a twenty-two-year-old, barely patched

  brother with bigger balls than I had the right to have when I was knocked on my ass by a hundred-pound, five-foot-three girl. I knew from just looking at her was my reason for breathing. She didn’t see me, but I sure as hell saw her, and I’m telling you now, I couldn’t have stopped staring at her if my life depended on it.”

  Smiling broadly at me, Boss chuckles

  “Trust you to notice a beautiful girl when you’re supposed to be on the clock.”

  “Not just a beautiful girl, Son,” I refute, shaking my head. “The most stunning creature I have ever and would ever see.”

  Emmy was gorgeous then, but never has she been more stunning than she is now. At sixty-three, my wife is beautiful. Age hasn’t diminished her beauty; if anything, it’s deepened it. The lines around her eyes show how hard she’s laughed – how much she’s smiled – and I like to think I’ve had something to do with that. She is still petite, and her curves have filled out a little over the years, but aside from that, not much has changed. To me, Emmy is perfect. Always was, and always will be.

  “I sat at the back of the diner facing the door while I waited for, Demon, and just watched her. The way she moved was like water. It was as if she floated around the room, her feet never touching the ground. Every table she stopped at, she would smile, and I swear, my heart almost gave out. It was obvious people loved her, and she loved them. She was kind, took the time to ask about their

  families, jobs, and what their plans for the day were. I’d never seen someone so effortlessly move from one conversation to the next. Demon showed a few minutes late, but I almost missed him come in. I was so enthralled by her, that he could have shot me in the head from twenty paces. Stupid, I know, but it is what it is.”

  “Yeah, but I know where you’re coming from. I find myself watching Beth like that sometimes too,” Boss admits hesitantly.

  Nodding, I take a deep breath of the crisp, quickly cooling night air.

  “She must have seen Demon approaching me because she showed up a minute later with a menu and coffee for both of us. Don’t know how she knew it, but apparently, she clued into the fact I’d been waiting for someone. Something else I learned quickly when it came to her is that I was a jealous motherfucker. I wanted her attention on me, not him. No one else, just me. It was pretty fucking evident they didn’t know each other, and she was just being polite as she had been with everyone else, but the rage I felt when she put her hand on his shoulder and smiled was like a sickness burning in my gut. I wanted to rip Demon out of the booth and beat the shit out of him. But at the same time, I wanted to take her in my arms and promise her the world. I didn’t even know her name, but that didn’t mean shit. As far as I was concerned, I could find that out later, it was just details. I didn’t do any of that, though I couldn’t. Instead, I sat there and watched as Demon smiled back at her and patted her hand. In hindsight, the way they interacted was friendly, nothing more, but tell that to the

  green-eyed monster that’d taken up residence inside my chest.

  “Let me get this straight. What you’re telling me is, you knew this nameless woman, one you’d only seen from across a room for all of fifteen minutes was “It” for you?” Boss smirks, and I just know he’s going to give me hell for this for months, if not years to come.

  “That’s absolutely what I’m telling you,” my reply echoes moments later.

  “So what went wrong? You lose your touch with women when you met Em or something?” I lost something alright, but it wasn’t my touch; it was all sense of self-preservation and my goddamned mind.

  Shaking my head sadly, I take another long pull of my drink, draining it in one gulp.

  “Nothing like that, Son. Even though I’d lived in Torment my entire life, I’d never met the girl that quickly came to mean the world to me. Her dad sheltered her as much as he could when she came to visit, keeping her away from the clubhouse as much as possible. Not to mention, I was on runs more often than I was at home back in those days. Call it fate, kismet, whatever the fuck you want to call it, our paths didn’t cross until that day.”

  Signaling for him to top me off, Boss pulls a glass that appears as if out of nowhere and fills it with three fingers of Jack.

  “I had no idea who she was, even though the family resemblance was uncanny. It just never entered my consciousness that one of the meanest motherfuckers I’d ever had the pleasure of meeting could have created someone so perfect. Eventually, I heard whispers around town, not to mention a few of the boys back at the clubhouse, talking about how e
xcited they were that little Emmy was back in town for a few weeks. It didn’t take long for me to put two and two together and work out who she was, and that she was off-limits. I won’t lie, in those days I was a pussy, hell bent on towing the line, so I avoided everywhere I knew Em would be until she eventually left town and went back to her mom’s.”

  “Jesus. Never thought I’d hear you admit to being a pussy, brother,” Boss chuckles.

  “Times were different then, Son. Skull wouldn’t have hesitated to kick my ass publically, ending it by putting a bullet between my eyes for just looking at his daughter. His underage daughter, I might add,” I say, quirking my eyebrow at him.

  “What happened next?” Jump asks, collapsing into a spare chair to my left.

  “Yeah, old man, don’t leave us in suspense,” his brother, Cash smirks, sitting down beside him.

  “Jesus, if I knew this was gonna turn into a bedtime story, I’d have picked one with a happier ending,” I huff without even a hint of anger.

  I love all these boys like they were my own, but I have to admit, I’ve got a soft spot for, Jump. He’s been through hell in his short life, and until recently, when he found the woman and man that completes him, I was worried his life would be just that; short. However, now, with Mia and Austin at his side, Jump is learning what it’s like to be loved unconditionally and has made a dramatic turnaround.